I am a woman rooted in passion, magic, and wild creativity. I am a woman who loves. Loving has not always been easy for me. From the time I was a young girl, I starved vital parts of myself in the name of love. I thought that to be accepted—to belong—I had to be sweet, accommodating, selfless. Somewhere along the mystery-passage between girlhood and womanhood, I mutated into a “yes” creature. The “yes”-creature can take destructive and joy-robbing forms. You know this. As a teenage girl, I was dyed blonde and flinty-eyed, hungry for acceptance by the pack: I partied, smoked, and did whatever the boys wanted. As a young woman I tried on the suits of journalist, political activist, professor: would work earn me love and belonging? I adopted the thoughts and opinions of whomever I was with, and demanded perfection of myself. When I discovered bliss in poetry, yoga and other healing work, I wanted to do that perfectly too. The “yes”-creature did win me acceptance, attention, even admiration.
I may have lived my whole life this way, in some comfort, a modest measure of security and satisfaction. I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you. Our culture is built on the backs of "yes"-creatures. But as life unfolded at ground level, planting me in Minnesota for graduate school in creative writing, another glorious movement was streaming in the deep of me.
It was my Inner Beloved, my wild woman of fierce compassion, coming to shake me from my timid, sugary sleep, to pull me up by the roots of my hair. She was gold-robed, big-breasted, her mane plaited on her crown. She could sing & she could ROAR!
As she arose from my depths, the life I’d known collapsed in on itself: in my body, I developed exhaustion, multiple allergies, and an eating disorder; in my relationships, I sustained significant endings; and in my psyche, I ached with the resurgence of old wounds.
Yes and as she arose, I also experienced this: meeting magical mothers, sisters and brothers who taught me true love; wild and starry adventures into my soul through writing, travel and spiritual study; and a rediscovery of the passions I’d known as a child: singing, dancing, loving touch, eating green weeds and feeling the dirt and sun and water kiss my bare skin.
With the guidance of wise teachers and my own intuition, I discovered multiple beings within myself who are keeping my Inner Beloved company (and some of whom give her a run for her money!): the Inner Critic, the Inner Child, the Inner Artist, the Inner Knower, and more. This is now the language I speak fluently and share with you, as a method of exploring your own inner cosmos and coming home to the joy & magic of living. It's a language of body sensations, imagery, song, touch, and breath.
In the arms of my Inner Beloved, I cease striving as a creature of future-perfection, and know myself as a woman fully singing the heart-song of today. In her fiercely compassionate embrace, I bloom. I bloom into a deeper, truer "YES!" than I ever knew, one that vigilantly sets boundaries around her own creative life and energy, one that knows rage as closely as she knows joy, and one that tends to her inner world, as sacred and vast and beautiful as the great universe in which she moves.
I’m here to offer the tools, guidance, and courage to meet your Inner Beloved, and to bloom into the "YES!" of your greatest joy.